There's Finally A Fair Way To Divide Household Chores, & It's Easier Than You Think

Did you have a chore chart as a kid? These charts were a fair way for you and your siblings to divide chores and earn a weekly allowance. They are still a great way for adults to divvy up chores and hold each other accountable. You may not get stickers, prizes, or piggy bank money for completing your chores, but the rewards are much better — like a pleasant living situation or a stronger marriage. We aren't suggesting you make a cute chore/activity wheel or purchase a Melissa & Doug magnetic responsibility chart and hang it on your fridge for the world to see. This can be a simple agreed-upon list that goes in the Notes app on your phone or on a piece of paper taped inside your closet. 

The chore chart or list works for any type of living situation, whether you have a roommate, partner, spouse, or still live with your mom. It also works for every personality type (type-A people will love making chore lists and checking things off, while the type-B people will need the visual reminder). Set aside a few hours when all roommates are available to have an initial chore meeting. This is not a meeting for one member of the household to assign chores willy-nilly, but an equal discussion among all parties that determines people's strengths, weaknesses, work schedules, likes, and dislikes. 

The first step is to write out all the chores, including weekly errands and pet or childcare duties. You may want to delay the big meeting by a few weeks, so each member of the household can keep a list of all the home chores to do — many of which are done automatically without thinking. (Alternately, you can purchase this Fair Play Deck with cards representing every possible household task.) Go down the list and remove any items no one actually cares about, like making the bed or keeping the playroom clean, which can happen fast before company arrives. You may also stumble upon some tasks that everyone hates to do that you can give to a third party, like hiring someone to mow the lawn. 

If you can't afford to throw money at undesirable tasks, agree to take turns doing them on a weekly or monthly basis. Then, go through each remaining task and ask questions such as "who is better at this," "who enjoys doing this," or "who cares about this the most." You will also need to agree on how often certain tasks need to be done, like dishes daily, cleaning bathrooms weekly, or emptying the junk drawer biannually. Even body clocks can be taken into consideration, with morning people doing the pre-breakfast tasks and night owls handling the after-dinner chores.

It's not about divvying up household chores exactly 50/50 or creating a complicated breakdown of how long each task takes minus how many hours you are at the office. According to the psychiatry site Very Well Mind, the perception of fairness to each person is more important than a perfect split of chores. It's about making sure everyone is happy with the final arrangement, and one person doesn't have resentment rising every day. 

For instance, if you stay home with the kids and your spouse works 60 hours a week, you probably aren't expecting your spouse to do half of the housework. Or, maybe you are the clean one in the relationship and don't want to hand over the housework for fear it won't be done properly. Your resentment may rise when it comes to childcare, and what you might ask for in return for household chores is a few hours away from the kids every weekend.

Flexibility is also important. If your roommate has an insane work week ahead, you can volunteer to take on a few more tasks. Trade things around if one of you finds you still can't keep up, or if someone is always forgetting a task. New life circumstances such as having a baby, adopting a pet, or a change in job status will also necessitate updating the chart. The important thing is to keep the communication open and reevaluate as necessary.